#70. The Lost Symbol

The Lost Symbol by Dan Brown

In some circles it’s cool to hate Dan Brown and all who read his work. In a way I can see why as his stuff isn’t terribly high-brow and his plots are often clichéd and inferior to some of the masters of action novels but Dan Brown’s books still sell in their millions so he must be doing something right. I will say here and now that I am not one of those Dan Brown haters. As long as a book engages and entertains I’ll read it, regardless of who wrote it and what it’s about. I watch ‘leave your brain at the door on the way in’ action films so why not read similarly themed novels?

One criticism I do have of Brown’s work is that it is often formulaic and this is no exception. In fact it’s almost The Da Vinci Code in a slightly different guise as there are many similarities between the books. It’s almost as though Dan Brown’s publisher wanted something quickly so the author changed a few names and locations and gave them back a reworking of The Da Vinci Code hoping that no-one would notice.

I accept that many authors have a style and one can recognise their work by certain plot elements and what have you but this takes the biscuit. Swap Paris for Washington DC, art for architecture, opus dei for the freemasons and you’re basically there. Both books have Robert Langdon in them, both have a strong symbology theme throughout. A female character who blurs the colleague/love interest boundary – check. An evil maniac hell-bent on death on destruction – yep, got one of those. An architectural tour of the city setting – yes, we get a gallop round Washington in this one just as we did Paris in TDVC. In so many ways they are the same book so if you enjoyed The Da Vinci Code you’ll probably enjoy this too, unless you were massively sick of it by the end of that book in which case this may just tip you over the edge.

What else? Oh yeah, as with other Dan Brown books (with the exception of Deception Point which was embarrassingly far fetched) the plot remains on that cusp where you wonder what is fact and what is fiction (and what is a mix of the two) but can’t really be arsed to look into and find out one way or the other. If a lot of what Brown has written about the architecture of Washington is, in actual fact, arse, then it’s done well enough to make it believable. I’m sure there will be various documentaries on the story behind this novel, highlighting any areas where Brown has taken artistic license with the layout of DC and so on in the same way that there were hundreds of cash-in projects that sprang up in the wake of The Da Vinci Code. Expect bookshelves to soon be packed with books on the truth behind masonic symbology and all that sort of crap.

At the end of the day, The Lost Symbol is a decent-paced action thriller novel that follows the same basic model successfully employed in earlier works so while it’s not exactly groundbreaking it’s an entertaining read all the same. Dan Brown has his critics, and this will give them plenty of ammunition, but he also has a whole army of fans who will get a good deal of joy from this book. Me, I’m still sat on the fence refusing to commit to either camp and I’m quite comfy there.

I have come across better novelists but then again I’ve read far worse than this too. Dan Brown has done what Dan Brown does. If you like his other books then read this and you probably won’t be disappointed. If you don’t like Brown’s other work then don’t read this as it will only annoy you. You can’t say fairer than that can you?

#69. Dewey

Dewey by Vicki Myron with Bret Witter

Dewey is a cat, and it’s a well-known fact that cats rock. Cats are far and away the best pet anyone can have. A pert squirrel would be cool, perhaps better than a cat, but they are too hard to domesticate so cats top the pile. A cat will do what it wants, when it wants. Fantastically independent when they want to be and utterly dependent on their owners when it suits them – it’s amazing. And unlike dogs they can take themselves for a walk, and you don’t need to wander the streets or frequent the local parks carrying a small plastic bag of their crap as most dog owners seem to do. Nothing says I love my dog more than carrying one of it’s turds around with you. And before you mention cat litter trays I want to point out that my pet cat is so well trained that it always goes out when it wants the toilet, and based on the fact that there is never any crap in my garden I can only assume it dumps in someone else’s back yard – perfect!

Dewey, after whom the book is named, is a cat. A library cat, in fact. Now, it’s many a year since I have been in a library and the last one I went in was probably the one at Manchester University rather than a public library but even so, I have never seen a cat in a library. Yet this book, which is American, makes it all sound reasonably normal. Maybe it is in the States, but not over here. But Dewey was so cute and changed attitudes in a small town and, according to the subtitle of the book, “touched the world” that he was clearly worthy of his own book.

One cold January morning, Vicky Myron of Spencer, Iowa found a little kitten dumped in the night drop box of the library in which she worked. The kitten was filthy, really cold and starving. She washed, warmed and fed the kitten, dubbing him Dewey Readmore Books. From then on, and for nearly 20 years, Dewey was a feature of Spencer library and a big part of the community. His fame spread and people would travel from all over to meet him, which is both bizarre and somewhat understandable as you read about what an awesome cat Dewey was.

Dewey’s is a heart-warming, feelgood tale but his is not the only story told within these pages. The author (Vicki Myron) gets in on the act too, and we hear about her life and how it changed during the Dewey years, as well as how the town of Spencer changed. And while this might sound rather heartless, I don’t really care about Vicki Myron. Sure, she’d had a tough time of it and all but I’d much rather hear about the cat curling up in a box or jumping on unsuspecting library patrons than about a woman’s experience with breast cancer, how she had to cope as a single mother following the split from her alcoholic husband and various deaths within her family. Her family is of little interest to me and is only really relevant to the story is as much as Dewey could apparently tell when she was down and would make an extra effort to cheer her up. Myron’s story is padding, basically, and could have been cut down significantly in my view. But what do I know about writing a bestselling book?

Dewey’s is a fun tale packed with cute cat moments but ultimately you know what’s going to happen to him, and when the end comes it is quite sad. Perhaps Myron’s tales of misery are littered throughout the text to prepare you for this point, who knows.

I find it hard to believe that one cat can change a community in the way that Dewey is alleged to but then small town America is a funny place isn’t it? I do know though that if my local library had a cat in it I’d go more often, but probably not to borrow books.

#68. Enemy Number One

Enemy Number One by Patrick Veitch

This was the first of my holiday reads, assuming you don’t count the Costa Blanca guidebook, which I don’t as I’d started reading that before we left the UK and finished it before we landed in Spain. Not that it really matters, of course.

Patrick Veitch is a professional gambler whose main income comes from horse racing and in this book he outlines many of the methods he has used over the years to take a small fortune off the bookmakers. But it’s by no means a “how to” guide, a recipe book that can be followed to instant riches. What would be the point of such a book? Anything that points out flaws in something can be used to address those flaws and close the loopholes and opportunities that were being highlighted in the first place. If Veitch detailed all the methods he has used to sting the bookies for millions they would immediately read his book and tighten up their operations such that no-one, including Veitch, could take advantage of them in the same way again. Common sense really. So rather than having it all laid on a plate for you, you have to read between a few lines and make a few educated guesses as to what Veitch did at times.

Is it worth it? That depends, doesn’t it? If you’re a gambler (like me) then it probably is worth it. If you’re not a gambler then I don’t see this book being of the slightest interest to you, unless you like reading about how people make a few million quid. There’s not too much boasting and gloating in a Loadsamoney vein, thankfully, but as with any tale of someone making a lot of money there will always be an undercurrent of them being “considerably richer than yow”.

Veitch operates on a different level to most of us but then again he has to. He’s well-known to all the bookmakers and if Veitch wants to back a horse chances are he knows something that isn’t already factored into the odds and this worries bookmakers as it effectively means they are offering odds that are too large. To counter this Veitch has to hide his bets from the bookies, employing an army of agents and sub-agents to place his bets for him, and in placing his bets they are obviously made aware of what a successful professional punter is backing so if they wanted to put a few quid on for themselves then who can stop them? I guess that’s their wages – they are effectively paid in information.

This is a large part of Veitch’s tale and truth be told it won’t be relevant to many people but it’s interesting all the same. It’s quite odd but I suppose many gamblers see it as a badge of honour when the bookmakers acknowledge your bets worry them. With online accounts they can restrict your stakes or even close your account; in the betting shops they can refuse your bets or limit your stakes and on the course they can refuse to accept your bet, limit your stakes or slash the odds on offer to you. All these things are a sign that you’re too good for the bookie, which is why it is something of a status symbol to receive a letter saying your account is being closed by a firm. It’s not happened to me yet, thankfully, but then I take care to protect the accounts I really care about by taking certain counter-measures. I also use Betfair a lot, and they will never close down or restrict an account. Quite why Patrick Veitch didn’t just pile into Betfair I don’t know.

The story also has an element that may appeal to the non-gambler out there: Veitch gets embroiled in some nasty business and as a result finds himself receiving threats and has to go into hiding, change his name and what have you. It all sounds quite serious but I wonder how much has been dramatised to make it a better story. That said, I don’t want to make light of what sounds pretty scary and all but I’m a cynic by nature. Incidentally, I don’t think kidnapping and death threats are essential if you want to make it as a professional gambler. I bloody hope not anyway!

Ultimately this book isn’t going to change my life and make me a fortune but I did have a moment of clarity shortly after finishing it. We’re not talking a road to Damascus style awakening here but it was a fundamental truth that hit me. I’d been reading about the sums that Veitch had been splashing about and the returns he was making on that when I realised I have been far too risk averse in my gambling so far and this risk aversion was costing me. It’s in my nature to be quite cautious, especially with money, but just as you can’t make an omelette without breaking eggs you can’t make a significant profit from gambling without putting a few quid at risk.

Veitch talks about pressing edges (which is form reading in his case) and I began to realise I wasn’t pressing my own edges enough. I have a portfolio of numerous systems and services covering a variety of sports of which horse racing is just one. These systems and services all vary in terms of performance and returns and it dawned on me that I should be upping the stakes on those that show a proven level of performance over a decent period of time – pressing the edge that they clearly have. And that’s all there is to it; it’s hardly rocket science I’m sure you’ll admit but it’s helped me significantly already. I was understaking in those areas that have the potential to generate excellent returns and in doing so reducing my bottom line, but not any longer. I have been careful not to overstretch myself and take undue risks though, I’m not a complete madman. But as Patrick Veitch says, you need to be part brain surgeon and part mad axeman to do well in this game. I have the brain surgery side of things sewn up in the amount of work I put in to my betting but I needed to up the mad axeman levels to reap the proper rewards. Thanks for helping me see the light Patrick.